Welcome!

Introductions!

I'm a 37 year old author, with two kids. I'm married to a paramedic. I'm currently on two antidepressants, blood pressure medication (my family history is what cardiologists refer to as 'seriously concerning'), and am approximately forty pounds overweight.  I love to cook. I HATE prepackaged meals because they taste so bland to me.

I've tried several diets and exercise programs. None lasted more than a few months, either because my kids (age 6 and 3.8) wouldn't touch the meals, and I worried about them getting rickets from a substitute diet of Cheetos and ginger ale, or because the food was both expensive AND terrible. A month where I tried those WW frozen meals for lunch was the single most miserable month of my life.

I did a lot of weight lifting, and while I got much stronger, my physical measurements didn't change, improve, or otherwise do a damn thing. I found this massively annoying.

I watch the Cooking Network religiously, and I love to be inspired by the beautiful plates and delicious offerings. I own multiple Cook's Illustrated cookbooks and issues.

Why try what came across as another fad diet, with its stylishly abbreviated "Keto" name?  Because the science behind it was so astonishing and bizarre that I just had to try it. A diet to improve mental function AND weight loss? A diet aiming at getting 80% of your calories from fat to lower your cholesterol and improve your blood pressure?! Pfft, right. But then I did my research (and I recommend you do the same.)

I won't go into the science myself, because if you're here, chances are you're already interested in doing a ketogenic diet, and either want recipe ideas, meal plan ideas, or just to see if it works.

These recipes are for people who have a spice rack and love to use it, and I promise the times will be ACCURATE. None of this "saute onions for a few minutes until they caramelize" crap. We all know that's a 15 to 20 minute process. WE ARE ON TO YOUR SHIT, INTERNET! When you have children gnawing at your ankles for food, finding out your recipe is going to take a half hour longer than promised is the stuff of fuck-you feelings.

We are not down with the fuck you feelings here. We are down with NOM NOM feelings here. And possibly cat and dog pictures.